Nature Strikes Back
LOVE, PEACE & DEATH
Neil Partrick
Glory Be To Jesus
(from 'God's People Give Thanks', Houston's Episcopal Church of the Redeemer choir)
No celestial choir this. It’s taken from a live recording of a mass performed in a small Texan church in the 1970s. Finding this record meant a lot to me after my Mum’s suicide; it provided a kind of private ceremony. “Glory Be To Jesus” is a hymn of hope first composed in 1847. My mother had lost hope. Maybe she never really had it, although she had been happy when we were very young. I still have the hope, though hearing this brings sadness, for her and for the lost faith that as a boy helped me in my hour of need.
The Loss of Grief
Neil Partrick 2020
I went in search of my mother
In a park in Penge
In a grave in Cross-in-Hand
In a reconstructed memory
Torn from a family photograph
I hold on to the kindness
To the love and the protection
To the sacrifices made
And to the misery that she had to endure
I remember her dissent at my father’s funeral
Audible only to the front row
As the vicar’s tribute poured salt on fresh wounds
And we blankly stared at the economy box.
My mother lived much of her life in service
At the master’s beck and call
In that space she had to navigate an existence
And protect us as best she could
The love of her life had killed himself at 25,
Grief-stricken that they could not be wed.
The rest of my mother’s life
Was lived in that shadow
By the time she took her own life
A lifetime of sadness had taken its toll
Very alone and fully aware
She understood what had been inflicted on us all
Eight years on I still cannot grieve at my mother’s death
Her suicide remains repressed
Bound up in a damaging darkness
On which I am only beginning to shine a light.
One World
John Martyn (re-recorded version, 1992)
“Please believe me….” Like it or not…”… “It’s a wicked world…” ...We’ve got ….one world…” …. "to find perfect peace”
Overpoweringly beautiful. This performance (and it HAS to be THIS one) is about mortality, and our lives together, on this planet, right now.
Sit Down Old Friend
Dion, 1970
“If I had my way we’d all gather together and say a ….” I can’t type the rest of the lyrics. This song is a 100% affirmation of life. He refuses to embrace negativity and despair. This song says there’s a key to survival and it’s a four letter word….Dion. From the mouths of so many others these sentiments would ring hollow. From him it’s pure Gospel.
My Death
David Bowie (from Ziggy Stardust film, 1973)
This is quite simply the best thing Bowie ever did, by far, and, like the second best thing he ever did (“Wild is the Wind”), he didn’t write it. I love the man though. At the ripe old age of 25 Bowie somehow injects incredible pathos into Jacques Brel’s ruminations on mortality. Phenomenal.
Heroin
Lou Reed (from ‘Rock n Roll Animal’, 1973)
“I.. have made ..a very big decision…I’m gonna try for the Kingdom if I can..” Death stalks a journey into drug-induced nirvana, but it’s a calculated risk made even more dramatic in this particular telling. If you’ve ever had a hint of this danger, you’ll know that it isn’t glamorous but it is exciting.
I Feel Like I’m Fixin’ to Die Rag
Country Joe and the Fish (Woodstock, 1969)
"It’s one, two, three, four, what are we fighting for; don’t ask me I don’t give a damn, next stop is Vietnam. And it’s five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates. Well there ain’t no time to wonder why, whoopee, we’re all gonna die.”